✨The universe always knows exactly what she is doing.
❌I’ve wanted to quit more in the past week, than ever before. Quit therapy, quit writing, just quit…
And then today, I got this message.
You know life is so unpredictable and there are times I think I’m doing so great and then out of thin air this dark cloud presents itself and it’s always hell to get it to disappear.
I’ve been wearing my best of smiles lately only to avoid being asked if everything is okay. Something about that damn question that gets me every time. So I just pretend and hope reality catches up
And I usually write to dump out all the feelings because I kinda suck at verbally expressing them but lately I couldn’t even bring myself to do that…
And then I got this message… and I just cried quietly to myself.
When something is meant for you, it will always find you.
It will find you in your brightest moments and your darkest corners.
It’ll celebrate your highest highs, and pick you up during your lowest lows… ✨✨ Thanks B, though you reached out to let me know how I’ve helped you-you didn’t even realize how much you were helping me. I love you 🤍 ✨✨
I pride myself on being an amazing mother, partner, family member, friend, human being etc.-and here’s why…
There was a point in my life where I was more angry than sad. I was sad because I was so depressed and i was angry because I truly felt like no one gave a shit. So much so that I tried to take my own life (this was years ago) and I wrote a suicide note, and turns out I kept it. I’ll be honest I didn’t even know I kept it until I stumbled upon it yesterday digging through old journals.
And so I sat down and read it- I bawled. Y’all, I was so angry back then. It broke my heart to read a letter I left behind for people who knew me and yet it was filled with so much anger and then there was part for Kannen and I told him that despite what anyone tried to tell him, his momma loved him.
Reading a note that was telling my son goodbye- whew, that hit different and it just… It just really broke my heart.
My point being that as #mentalhealthawarenessmonth comes to an end, I want my family, my friends, other human beings, etc. – I just want you to know I care, I’ll always care- even when I say I don’t…I do.
I will be your vault, your shoulder to cry on, your person, your safe space-I will be what you need in the moment you need it the most.
It’s important that we remind those that we love just how much we love them. You never know what people are going through.
I love you guys with everything I have and then some.