Dare me to love you
What if I can’t or I fail
Truth is I am scared
Lately I’ve been beat
Lost in thoughts, and stuck in time
My dreams have cold feet
How I miss sleeping
Tell me of the time we met
Let love bring me sleep
📓𝚂𝚘 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚊𝚐𝚘, 𝙸 𝚙𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚢 𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚜.
📔𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚛 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕, 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚋𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛.
✍🏾𝙸𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 go𝚝 𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎 𝙸’𝚍 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎.
🤯𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔𝚜 𝙸 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚙𝚜𝚢ch𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚌 𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕. 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚕𝚎𝚏𝚝 𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚢 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 wh𝚘 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚢.
🥲𝚂𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚒𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎, 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍, “𝙷𝙰𝙿𝙿𝚈”. 𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚓𝚘𝚔𝚎𝚜, 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝?!
📝𝙰𝚗𝚢𝚑𝚘𝚘, 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚑 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢, 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚘 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚒𝚝.
𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚜𝚘.
😩𝙸 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚢 𝚓𝚘𝚢 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚖𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚊 𝚙𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚛 𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚒𝚕.
🤬𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐, “𝚈𝚘𝚞’𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚏 ev𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗’𝚝 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚒𝚕 𝚝𝚘 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝!”
🖊 𝙻𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚝, 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕-𝙳𝚊𝚢 𝟺 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝟸 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢- 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚢𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚊 𝚙𝚎𝚗 wi𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏…
🖍𝙽𝚘, 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚊𝚢𝚘𝚗 𝚕𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚊𝚏𝚎𝚝𝚢
And on the days she dresses like so
I have no problem with how she clouds my judgement
and maybe i need them both
i know i need them both, actually
i’m just afraid no one would understand
i was birthed from darkness
there are holes throughout my body that house darkness due to the unspeakable acts done in the light
there are scars that sit on my skin
that scream when i step into the sun
how is it that light is the only place where i can be seen
yet that same light blinds the eyes and deafens the ears to the screams of my shadows
they tried to convince me that the light is where i was meant to be
and it wasn’t until that very moment that i knew i’d never be completely whole without the darkness…
the light is still shining
and as I focused on whether or not
the door was still open
I wondered why I was so hesitant to smile
why hadn’t I thrown myself into the light by now
I wanted to-more than anything really
but does anyone truly escape the darkness
i’ve never known darkness to lose its grip
however when I sit on the brink of happiness i feel it pulling me back
only to remind me of who is really in charge
so I smile but with caution
I laugh but not too loud
i’ve housed darkness for so long
it’s become the unwanted houseguest
I can’t get rid of
and every time I go to step towards the sun
it whispers- “what’s done in the dark always comes to the light”
And when a bit of sun creeps
through and shines it’s smile
on the darkness that’s
embedded itself in all the cracks-
you forget that you
left the door open in the first place
or maybe you didn’t forget at all
maybe..just maybe your hands
did what your mouth couldn’t brave.
The places your mouth wouldn’t travel
your hands freely explored.
Here’s to leaving the door open
because the light feels good
Even when the house begs to be dark
You find your way through
When the walls scream for solace and silence
In those moments you demand to be seen
Your reflection shows me who you really are
You light up the parts of me that hesitate to glow in the dark
My walls begged for darkness but still you set them on fire
I’ve never been more grateful to see the sun break the rules
I walked away singing softly…
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray